The Unconditional Love of a Mother

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This is a photo of my sister and her daughter.

Will you please sleep now? No wonder why your body complains because it lacks rest.” This is always the advice I hear from my mother and most of my responses are “Mom, I am sleeping at least five to six hours a night.” Yet she answers “You need to sleep seven hours and give your eyes a break…” Constant reminder from my mother is already irritating for me because it is a part of my responsibility to do my assigned task. One time, I replied, “Mom, calm down. I am already 21.” There was a bit of silence from her and a moment later, she answered calmly, ” Oh yes, you already graduated, you have a job and you know everything. However, you didn’t experience to be a mother yet.” That response from her penetrated in my chest and pinched my heart. I felt horrible on how I responded because I know I hurt her. I was giggling while trying to lighten the atmosphere. I wanted to suck the words back to my larynx however the impact of my short response already reached my mom’s heart.

It is true that the over-protective nature of a mother sometimes annoyed a child however, she is a mother and by the time she felt a life inside her, there is already a formation of a strong connection between her and the new life.This bond gives her happiness despite the hormonal changes she is encountering and this is also naturally giving her the feeling of warmheartedness to her child. Moreover, this intense connection is already a strong reason for her to evaluate the course of life of her child because she always wanted the best and she is welling to become selfless for her child . To give us some clue on how selfless mothers are, let us travel back from the time they conceive.

First Trimester of Pregnancy

Couples of weeks past from the time an embryo started to form in a mother’s uterus, she already started to suffer from varied changes which includes change in body shape, weight gain, change in red blood cell counts, urinary tract infection, mood swing, choice of food, appetite, and hyperemesis gravidarum (morning sickness). Hyperemesis gravidarum leads to nausea and vomiting. While nausea and vomiting could cause weight loss and dehydration. This is the reason why pregnant women need health maintenance. There are those who are also experiencing uncontrolled hunger and thirst, repetitive urination and extreme tiredness which are the symptoms of gestational diabetes. Obesity could also happen and this is critical to the condition of the child and the mother so it is significant to monitor her weight, the diet, and the daily routine.

Second Trimester of Pregnancy

It is heart softening to see the smile and the excitement of a mother while she is feeling and observing the movement of the baby inside her however behind that smile, she is feeling a pain and itchiness in some part of her body. The skin on her cheeks, forehead and other parts start to darken while her uncles, fingers and face start to swell.

Third Trimester of Pregnancy

This is the period where a mother could feel a lot of discomfort such as baby dropping in the lower portion of her abdomen, shortness of breath, contraction, heartburn, and difficulty in sleeping. This is also the period where a mother starts to labor and feel excruciating pain to give birth to her baby. If unfortunately, she can not bring out her child naturally, then she has to undergo cesarean delivery.

After Birth

After delivery, a mother begin to breastfeed and take good care of her baby, neglecting the tiredness and pain she is still feeling. She wakes up a lot of times at night to breast feed and to change the diaper of her baby.

Being a mother is a lifetime commitment and a noble task. She is tired but she perceives her children as a part of her life so they are part of every decision she makes. She sacrifices a lot and are willing and ready to face changes and challenges that she will soon encounter just to protect and show her love to her child.

We sometimes misinterpret them, yet they need a total understanding and love from us, their children. They are always there for us and we must always be with them also. There might be things that they fail to comprehend from us as we are to them, but we must learn how to show or tell them what we wanted and what we must do without hurting them. They treated us as a gift for them so they treasured us. They are also a gift for us to treasure. Happy Mothers Day!

Depression: A Disease of the Soul

Depression is a heavy word that hits the inner soul of a person. It affects anyone despite the race, skin color, nationality, gender or status differences. Based on the World Health Data, there are already more than 300 individuals who are suffering from depression and it is one of the main mental disorders that causes almost 90 percent of suicide cases. Suicide issues keep on increasing over time. The number of death increased for about 60% since the last 45 yrs. until the present. It is heartbreaking to observe that thousands of people are cutting their own life yet there are those who desire to have longer life yet failed to have it.

Depression

Depression (clinical depression or depressive disorder) is a feeling of anxiety, deep loneliness or pain that decreases someone’s self-worth or self-esteem and affects someone’s normal daily routine. It is significant to have a total understanding about this mental disease to prevent and protect ourselves from this mental illness. Moreover, this will give us idea on how to help and understand friends and family who are victims of depression. Victims need guidance and support for them to fight the feeling of vulnerability.

Possible Cause of Depression

Causes of depression differs from every individual. Some of the causes are genetic inheritance and stress

Genetic Inheritance

When a parent or a grandparent suffered from depression, then there is a possibility that their children are at risk of depression.

Stress

We tend to suffer from stress due to some factors such as diseases, poor time management skills, personal, financial or social problems. Thus, it is significant to discipline ourselves in managing our time, choosing our diet and our daily activities.

Symptoms of Depression

Symptoms of depression varied from an individual to another and there are those who keep on hiding the deep loneliness, loss of self-worth and other negativity that they are feeling because they are afraid of criticism or they thought it is a normal feeling. The following are the factors identified by a National Institute of Mental Health. If it happened that you are encountering the following symptoms, ask help. Don’t wait that the only choice you think you have is to loss your life rather than living without a reason for living.

Deep Loneliness

Being lonely in a short period of time is normal yet being miserable most of the time to the point that it affects your work, studies, daily routines, and even your relationship with others is already strange.

Loss of Self-worth or Self Confidence

You know you are having this symptom when you can’t longer feel your importance in the society you are in. As a result, you start to exclude yourself from the society, even avoiding your love ones and the people around you. This causes you to think of ending your life.

Pessimism

Negativity affects your insights, thus causing you to see the negative consequences of a possible action you think of doing. This also affects your decision-making skill.

Sleeping Habits

This is the repetitive or monotonous inability to sleep at night, or it is the reverse, which is oversleeping.

Alteration of Diets

You found yourself either eating too much or avoiding foods in a repetitive manner.

Treating Depression

There are those who attempt to handle their own depression; however, most failed to fight it that leads them to develop more serious mental illnesses, even killing themselves. If you observe symptoms of depression, don’t hesitate to ask help by visiting a professional psychiatrist or health care provider. They will help you evaluate your level of depression, gives you medicine or even recommend psychotherapy or brain stimulation therapy.

Medicines

Antidepressants or the drugs recommended by doctors for depressed clients in order to balance chemical reactions, related to our mood, in their brain. However,
it is important to consult a doctor before taking it because of its side effects. Doctors are monitoring those who are taking this medicine for the first time because it could create a feeling agitation to an individual and might cause that person to attempt suicide. Example of antidepressants are Imipramine, Desipramine and Nortriptyline.

Psychotherapy

This is sometimes called “talk therapy” where in a license psychiatrist or a health care provider communicates with the depressed patient about his/her emotion, challenges or problems that contributes in his/her condition. Moreover, this is where the patient learns different ways of fighting his/her depression.

Brain Stimulation Therapy

Electroconvulsive therapy is the longest and most effective brain stimulation therapy so far. It is a method of using electricity to directly activate the brain. This is only used when medicine and psychotherapy are ineffective.

Other people could help you combat your depression but you are the main actor in your own story so you should also help yourself. As Charles Bukowski stated “Nobody can save you but yourself”. As you are having medication or psychotherapy, start organizing you daily activities and continue doing your passion you used to do. Begin recovering what you have lost and surround yourself with good friends and positivity!

How to Conquer Fear for Your Dreams

Where are you now? Are you still in the shadow of your past? Are you afraid to start a new life because you fear the negative consequences that it might cause you? Have you decided to retain in your simple life because you are afraid of failure, criticism and bullies? Do you want to be the next Jeffrey Bezos yet failures, and fear of accepting responsibilities are locking you not to do the first step? Do not worry! Every successful and prolific individuals felt the fear you are currently feeling. A work done has always a starting point and there are always catalysts, at the same time stumbling blocks, at the middle of the journey. There’s no way for a person to finish a work without starting it. However, what if you are not starting a work because you fear to commit mistakes?

How to start conquering your fear

Conquer your fears. Why can’t we just kill or train ourselves not to fear anymore? Everything that exist and any situation that we are encountering is always a mixture of blessings and negative consequences. Fear exist to give you motivation in helping yourself to survive or prepare in any possible undesirable situation that might occur during your journey. However, fear could also stop you in striving for your dreams. Fear is a emotional response to detestable events and having this emotion means you are a human being. However, if it is already killing your bright future, then here are some questions that you could ask yourself to start a new step towards the best version of yourself! Be fearless for your dreams!Break free from the fear of failure.

1. What are my fears?

It is a must for you to have a total knowledge about your fears. Are you afraid of getting low grades or low performances?Is it hard for you to apply for a job because you might be rejected again? Are you afraid of failing the expectations of your comrades, trainers, coaches, colleagues, and those who are relying on you? Are you afraid to speak up your thoughts because they might laugh at you or neglect you? Reflect on the reasons why you have been sitting for a couple of hours yet you can’t start your first project. Are you afraid you might start it in a wrong way? Ask yourself, why can’t you start doing great and remarkable things in class or in your workplace? Did you already tried yet you failed so you ceased on trying because are scare that the situation might happen again?

2. What should I do to this fear?

After identifying the situations and the stumbling blocks that are holding you towards your vision for yourself, ask yourself, “Am I going to just stop on fighting my fear or am I going to strive and fight it despite the consequences that might happen? Remember this quote from Terry Pratchett, “Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.” Self-disappointment or disappointment from others make us cry yet learn to be humble enough to accept that we are born with less wisdom. We do things, we commit mistakes, we get hurt yet we learn from the pain of our mistakes and this pain warns us not to redo the same mistakes. Testimonies or observations are also factors that are triggering our fear yet use the experiences of others as guides not as a wall between you and your dream. If someone told you that becoming a writer is quite hard then use this as a motivation to learn and practice writing. If someone told you that you are entering a not promising job, consider other opinions; however, if majority can’t see your vision then be guided by Joseph Campbell saying “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.” A lot of remarkable tycoons and famous individuals experienced rejection, such as Walt Disney, Oprah Winfrey, and Thomas Edison before becoming what they are at the moment.

3. Where will I start?

Start planning your actions or steps, either short term or long term goal, that could lead you towards your dream and make sure that you follow them as you planned as possible. If your dream is to get a particular job, then start searching, look for qualifications, prepare yourself, and apply immediately. Face your fear of unable to get hired because you are not good enough. Avoid saying “Later” because time is not reusable. Do what you planned and act faster or you’ll find yourself still saying, “I’ll start it later”, twenty or thirty years later.

Every person despite their culture, status, gender, or race differences are vulnerable to fear. Fear is one of the factors that drive us to follow the same path as the others, as well as, it increases our wisdom in how to survive and protect ourselves in the future. however, fear is alarming when it affects our development as a whole individual rather than serving as a motivation for us to rise from falling. The choice to either conquer or fight this strong emotional response and start a new chapter of our story is in us. Let’s not allow fear to keep us from dreaming big! The world need fearless individuals that could make difference and that could pull those individuals out from the slaves of their negative experiences by being a model!

Here is a video about overcoming fear.